Women’s Mystical Mummy Costume

Description

You fall asleep for a few thousand years in a crypt once, and no one lets you forget it. They are all like, “Better watch what you are doing, don’t want Mummy to see!” They think they are being clever, but they are just being jerks. And it’s not like your name is even that weird. It’s Nefertiti, that’s not weird when there is a kid named Apple in the world.

You try to wear normal clothes, things you bought from the Gap, and Old Navy. But, it doesn’t stop people from saying things like, “What type of music do mummies listen to? Wrap Music!” badumpchsh Real funny guys. And let’s not talk about when you listen to Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off. People were like, “You really shook off that three thousand year nap.” Funny. Right.

We say just embrace it. Take back the Egyptian mummy power. This Woman’s Mystical Mummy Costume will be a great way to say, “Yeah I’m from a time before Netflix and Cuddle was a thing. Deal with it.” When guys see you coming in this tattered mummy dress, none of them are going to be saying anything. Their jaws will be on the floor, because you will look better than their Barbie girlfriends. And if anyone asks you if you enjoy being a mummy, say, “of corpse!”