Straw Skimmer Hat

how dirty the Mississippi River is? Don’t get us wrong, it’s a beautiful trip down that ribbon of water, but spending all of your time on it…you can’t even swim in it, did you know that? Or you can, but you shouldn’t. And especially not when you get even further down, because, y’know…the river carries all that pollution with it.

What’s our point? Well, it just seems like being on a riverboat casino would put you in direct interaction with some shady characters – you know, people who like to gamble away all their money and then the money of other people, NBD – and if they weren’t happy about something…sorry, we’re just making some of the more obvious connections here! But if you’re sticking to this plan, then again…we’re not going to stop you! But we are going to advise that you bring this Straw Skimmer Hat with you. It will help protect your from the sun and give you that proper “I spend a lot of time traveling down the Mississippi River” look. Also, it will make it easier for the authorities to spot just where you fell into the water if someone tries to drown you. Happy river boating!