Hey, you Hyrulian hero, you! What if we told you we have what you need—and we won’t even make you fumble through a maze of Stalfo-riddled temples, up a fiery volcano, or through the thickest of forests for it? We won’t even make you sail the high seas on a talking ship!

Woah, lower your grappling hook! That wasn’t the beginning of a bribe, so there’s no need to snatch this licensed Master Sword replica from us like that. We simply wanted to impress upon you how much time and effort we’ll be saving you. And now it’s time for you to save Princess Zelda from that pig Ganon. Or to explore the hallowed grounds of ComiCon. Or get your groove on at that costume party. Whatever your adventure, young hero, may it bring truth to ancient prophecies and fill your wallet with rupees!

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