Womens Solid Silver Mock Neck Jumpsuit

Description

What’s that, captain? A capricious alien life form has put a debilitating kink in the hose that pulls air from the ship’s living quarter’s into the carbon dioxide scrubber? Oh no! We’re all going to suffocate slowly in a cloud of our own stale breath, unless we can find a way to meet its outrageous demands and restore the flow of breathable oxygen! But what does it want?

Then it’s even worse than we thought. The alien would need to have seen decades’ worth of daytime television inadvertently beamed from Earth to develop such a ridiculous flair for the dramatic! Why else would it refuse to negotiate with anybody who’s not wearing a flashy Womens Solid Silver Mock Neck Jumpsuit like this?

Doesn’t it know that lives are at stake? Isn’t it aware that space is supposed to make people really, really cold? Won’t a suit with anything less than multiple layers of thermal protection and an active heating system be extremely uncomfortable for the brave soul who’s going to talk this extra-terrestrial terrorist out of strangling our life support systems?

That courageous person would have to be really, really hot if they were going to survive long enough to relay even our most basic objections to the alien’s terms! Computer, fetch us a hairdryer: we’re going to have to take care of this the old-fashioned way. That is, unless some extremely durable and shapely member of the crew volunteered to wear this preposterously sexy one-piece outfit into space. Any takers? It would look great on your intergalactic résumé!