What do you think would have happened if Goldilocks had been dressed like one of the bears she stole from? We think that they would have just tried to adopt her. Clearly her parents weren’t keeping a close enough eye on her. They might just be doing her a favor by taking her in.
Have you ever wanted to take a walk in the woods but were too afraid of he bears that lived there? You wouldn’t need to be afraid if they took you as one of their own. If they saw you as a bear yourself. Before you go into the woods you should practice sounding like a bear. And walking like a bear. And you should really invest in something to make you look like a bear. Because you will literally be walking into a bears den.
We might not be able to actually turn you into a bear. Our bosses put a stop to our magical tinkerings. But we can send you this Women’s Deluxe Golden Bear Costume. That way when you try to eat the bear’s porridge they won’t get angry, they’ll just say “awww what a cute bear, let’s keep her.” You will have the same bear paws as your new family. The same furry tail. And the same fuzzy feet. Just don’t forget to pick up a Bear Nose, it is part of the bear necessities of transforming into an animal after all. So don’t wonder any more what would have happened if Goldilocks had looked like a bear. Go experience what having a bear family would be like. *Warning: Bears will attack if you hug them. DO NOT HUG THE BEARS.*