Okay so that fancy talking mirror of yours is saying that Snow White, not you, is the fairest one of all (Where did you get that mirror, by the way? We’ve never seen it at Pier One or anything). Well who cares about being fair? Fair is boring. Fair is safe and yawn-inducing. Nobody cares about fair. You never bothered to ask that mirror who the hottest one of all is, did you? Or the sexiest. Or the best dresser. Because the answer is you you you. Don’t listen to that stupid mirror (although, still, the whole talking thing is quite impressive). Instead, listen to yourself! Now, that doesn’t mean you have to stop being a wicked queen. Be wicked, it’s who you are. Embrace it. But embrace it having the confidence of being the hottest one of all.
After you’ve slipped into your purple velvet dress with that short skirt hem in the front to show off those luscious legs of yours, it’s time to grace the rest of the world with your presence. Don’t worry if people are nervous. It’s natural for others to be intimidated by royalty. Although do make sure they kneel. You’ve got a wicked reputation to keep up, and they should respect your title. And if they don’t, well, you can show them exactly how much power you possess. If they’re not awed and humbled by your talking mirror (and who wouldn’t be. At this point we can admit we’re a little obsessed with it.), they’ll be awed and humbled by you turning them into a newt or a toad or any other amphibian you please! Although you could turn them into something else, but maybe you’ve got a thing for amphibians. So forget about being fairest, queen. it’s time to be best.