So you’ve got a thing for big older guys in white beards. The heart wants what it wants! Who are we to judge? After all, we love redheads…to each her own!
But listen…just like dating an accountant from January to March, we know that romancing the old boy who lives in the North Pole has its own certain set of challenges. He won’t upgrade to a car – much less a private plane (which we both know he could easily afford) – forcing you to go for ride-alongs in a cold sleigh pulled by eight smelly (and cranky) reindeer. He never wants to come down to the mainland to meet your friends, and you can forget it when it comes to him and social media…people can barely believe that he even exists, much less the fact that two of you are in a serious, committed relationship! And if you ever want some quality alone time with your man, it better not be between Halloween and Christmas…not only is he up to his pink ears in work, but he’s constantly surrounded by elves, reindeer, and that ex-wife of his who still insists on calling herself *the* Mrs. Claus. They got divorced, like, a hundred years ago!
Sometimes, the only thing that keeps you going is the thought of you two finally dashing away on your annual tropical vacation, which starts on December 26 at 12:01 AM sharp, and doesn’t end until the North Pole Q4 preparations begin in March. And this year, you wanna make some memories he’ll remember far into next December…which is why we suggest you pack this Women’s Sexy Santa Babe Costume! One look at you in this red velour dress with white faux fur trim, a matching red velour shrug, and a red santa hat will make Old St. Nick feel young again. Add some white thigh-highs and black heels and you’ll be getting your jollies all over town! (get it? We said “jollies” while talking about Santa Claus? Yeah…guess we’d be tired of that joke, too, if we were you…)