Sexy Baywatch Lifeguard Costume

Description

There is a great dispute out there about what humanity’s crowning achievement is. You know, that one perfect creation of art or science that defines us as a species, the thing we’d bring to show and tell if there was a galactic equivalent of the UN and we were invited to join it. Some would say that the Hubble telescope is the best thing we’ve ever made, even though it’s too far away to take good selfies. Others would argue that the collected works of Mozart are the most brilliant instance of civilization. Wrong — there are no drum solos, so Mozart is, objectively, bad. So what is the greatest thing ever?

Well, if you watched TV in the 90s, the answer to this question is a no-brainer. It’s Baywatch, and to an equal extent its spinoffs Baywatch Down Under, Baywatch Hawaii, and the undeservedly short-lived Baywatch Nights. Why is Baywatch better than, say, the Great Wall of China or the Polio vaccine? It is because it has David Hasselhoff, Carmen Electra, and Pamela Anderson, often all at once. Film critics agree these actors define the pinnacle of their craft. Rumor has it that Francis Ford Coppola ordered all existing copies of The Godfather to be destroyed after he watched the pilot episode of Baywatch for only seven seconds, he was so embarrassed by his blatant amateurism.

If you know how to run in slow motion and want to pay respectful tribute to this godly television show, then our officially licensed Baywatch Lifeguard Costume is just for you. It has Baywatch patches to prove your allegiance to the show, and a little floatie. Do not use the little floatie to try to save any one’s life — as an official piece of Baywatch memorabilia, it is far more valuable than life itself.