Plus Size South Seas Siren Costume

Description

A siren? For pirates? Why, to put on top of their pirate ambulances? We would imagine pirates are injured fairly often in rum and cannonball related accidents, but we didn’t know they were so keen on receiving medical attention afterwards. Don’t they just grow back their legs when they lose them, like lizards, except this time they’re made of wood? And wouldn’t Captain Morgan just drink Captain Morgan if he had an ache or a pain, or, for that matter, was awake?

Nevermind, we just realized that this is a siren costume, as in those crazy mermaids that lure lust-crazed sailors to their doom with the power of hypnotic songs. Huge difference. We’ve been known to attract men from miles away with just the sound of our own voice too, except instead of attracting them it was actually whatever the exact opposite of that is. Repelling? We don’t know, we’re still stuck on the pirate ambulance. Is that a thing? If not, it should be.

Anyway, with our South Seas Siren Costume you look so good that you won’t have to sing or say a word to make them run in whichever direction you choose. This lacy, rustic dress and headband will give you a fun seafaring look, the perfect thing to compliment with lots of swords and guns and grog and dancing. Remember, the real treasure in this life is adventure (and also literal treasure).