We all know that dwarves just love mining, so much so that they actually sing about it (all day long). What’s weird is that they mine millions of dollars’ worth of gems, but then they go and live in a tiny cottage, all cramped together, sleeping in bunk beds. What’s up with that, dwarves?
Not you. You’ve been investing all your pay and rubies into a killer stock portfolio that’s really paying off. So you are ready to stop all that laboring and start spending that dough! Maybe you’ll go on a vacation; we hear there’s a fun theme park in Florida where you’d fit in just fine. Or maybe you’re more of an adventure traveler and you’d like to check out the bear population up in Alaska. You may no longer be intent on working the whole day through, but you’d still like to look the part as you embrace the leisure life; boy, does this plus size dwarf costume have your new life endeavors written all over it!
The red shirt and brown pants prove comfy as can be, but it’s the droopy brown hat that will immediately alert all you meet that you’re a dwarf, darn it, and proud of it! As you stroke this white beard, you can gently re-educate the woman sitting next to you in first class, who assumes that all dwarves are lowly workers with no real financial know-how! Hi-ho, Hi-ho, it’s off to retirement you go! Enjoy the golf game in Hawaii and the loft apartment you don’t have to share with anyone! You’ve earned it, little guy.