Hockey mask, check. Stained, plaid button-up shirt, check. Machete…machete? Uh-oh. Don’t get left out of the slaughtering fun just because you don’t have a machete. Nothing else will give you the satisfying thrust of plunging your blade deep inside the victim’s stomach, watching them shrink to the ground, and seeing the fresh blood oozing out of their lifeless body. Don’t waste your time with axes, chainsaws, or guns; get the original. Get the best. Get the machete.

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