Pop on this shirt, and you might feel like you just broke out of space prison. You’re sure to meet a host of exciting new friends now that you’re finally free. We recommend (after our prior experience) just telling them plainly, “Hey, I’m going to avenge my family. Please stay out of my way.”
Looking as bad as you do, they’re sure to oblige, and perhaps even help out! If you meet a sentient tree being, don’t take offense with his one-sentence replies like we did (tree limbs to the face hurt). And if you meet a human who calls himself Star Lord? You might have just have doubled your chances of defeating Ronan! Best of luck fighting galactic evil and injustice out there, remember to stretch before exercising superhuman strength, and don’t forget to brush your teeth. We’ll see you in the next film!