Child Zombie Banana Costume

Description

We know it will happen, so we created a list of responses for you to give—in your best zombie-banana voice—when someone asks why you chose to dress as a zombie banana at this year’s costume party.

Feel free to choose from any and all (or a mix of many) from the following:

Because they are a great source of potassium. Because yellow is my favorite color. Because hey girl, you made me go bananas. Because they have no fat, no sodium, and no cholesterol—and I take my future seriously. Because I need only my doctor’s approval, not yours. Because I wanted to sing 2Pac’s All Eyez on Me for karaoke and had to dress accordingly. Because society told me to be a pirate or a ninja, but I was born with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Because they’re the 4th largest agricultural product in the world. Because after you eat all of the Chex mix, you monster, I’ll be the last remaining party favor. Because Americans eat more of these than any other fruit—and I love my country. Because they’re technically radioactive and that seems like the start of a superhero movie. Because no other fruit costume contains tryptophan, which produces seratonin, which alleviates mental depression—and I am a big fan of happiness. Because monkeys are cool. Because I felt inspired by Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude. Because why not celebrate the best fruit around? Because everyone is looking at me and not you—how does that feel? Because I am raising awareness for human rights violations in Banana Republics worldwide. Because I really, really enjoy that episode of Family Guy—and it’s peanut butter jelly time!!! Because I am one with nature, aren’t you?

You’re welcome.